It’s Not Just “Don’t Marry the Wrong One.”Lord, Don’t Let Me Miss the Right One.

Beyond “Don’t Marry the Wrong One”

There’s a conversation we don’t have enough of in Christian circles. We talk a lot about red flags. “Girl, don’t date that guy. Don’t settle; run from that nonsense.”

And yes, all of that matters. But if that’s the only prayer we’re praying, then we’re praying half the prayer, because it’s not just about avoiding the wrong guy. It’s also about not missing the one God is pointing to; it’s about not walking past your blessing because you were too busy, too distracted, too wounded, or too focused on what you don’t want that you missed what God does want.

Let’s take a deep breath and talk heart-to-heart, sister to sister. You see, nobody wakes up and says, “I think I’ll settle for nonsense today.” Settling creeps up on you. It happens when we don’t know what God is saying. The Message Bible puts it like this: “Without revelation, people run wild...” — Proverbs 29:18 MSG

When we don’t have God’s eyes on a matter, we run wild with our own opinions, timeline, pressure, and our loneliness. We start lowering the standard not because we’re bad, but because we’re blind. Ignorance sounds like, “I’m tired of waiting; everyone is getting married. He’s not perfect, but at least he’s here. Or maybe this is the best God has for me.” And that last one breaks most of us. Because the God who formed you in your mother’s womb did not plan “the best you can get.” He planned the best for you.

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out, plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” — Jeremiah 29:11 MSG

If He has a future He hopes for you, then our job is to pray with open eyes so we don’t miss it. We can miss what God is saying because we’re only listening to half.

Let me be honest. I’ve done this. God will draw my attention to something, and I’ll be focused on something else entirely. He’s saying, “Watch his character.” And I’m saying, “But God, does he have a job? He’s saying, “This is a season of healing first.” And I’m saying something different.

We get so fixated on one part of the picture that we miss the whole mural God is painting. Jesus said it plain: "Are you so clueless? Can’t you see that whatever goes into you from the outside can’t contaminate your heart?” — Mark 7:18 MSG. Spiritually, the same is true. What God is trying to get into us gets blocked when we focus on only one thing: the ring, the proposal, the wedding date. But God is looking at Character, calling, peace, timing, alignment, and covenant. He’s asking, “Will this person help you become more like Me, or pull you away from Me?” God, what do you want me to do? (Acts 9:6). That’s the prayer. Not just “God, whom do I avoid?” but “God, what do You want?” Avoiding the wrong guy is protection. Thank God for it. But praying “Lord, don’t let me miss it” is a form of positioning. That’s maturity, sis.

Protection says, “God, keep me from pain.” While positioning says, “God, position me for purpose.” And purpose in marriage is bigger than companionship. It’s covenant, it's ministry, it’s two people saying, “Together we will build something that outlives us.”

Paul said it about wisdom, “We’re not keeping this to ourselves; we’re passing it along: God’s wisdom, meticulously designed long ago by God for our benefit.” — 1 Corinthians 2:7 MSG

God meticulously designed marriage, too. Long ago. For your benefit. So why would we rush past His design and then wonder why it feels off? The prayer should be from now on, “Father, give me wisdom. Give me discernment. Give me patience. And give me ears that can actually hear You, even when You’re saying something different from what I want.”

If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get what you need and won’t be short-changed.” — James 1:5 MSG

God isn't going to cheat you out of what you deserve, whether it’s the right husband, the right season, or your peace of mind. And the enemy doesn't always send a disaster your way; sometimes he keeps you so distracted that you miss the right person right in front of you. Distraction can be career, comparison, content, church hurt, past heartbreak. You’re so busy surviving that you can’t hear God saying, “This is the one. Pay attention.”

And desperation? “Anybody will do.” And when you’re desperate, you’ll baptize anything and call it “God’s will.” But Jesus’ way is different:  — Matthew 11:28 MSG. Rest is where clarity lives. You can’t hear God clearly when you’re anxious. You can’t discern when you’re panicking. So part of “not missing it is getting to a place of rest with God first. But how do we actually pray “Don’t Let Me Miss It, or Don't marry the wrong one"?

This is what this looks like on the ground, for both me and the women, I have the privilege of walking alongside:

• Pray for eyes: “God, open my eyes. What are You drawing my attention to that I’ve been ignoring?” Because sometimes He’s pointing to a green flag you keep overlooking because it’s not flashy. So sis, praying for God to open your eyes is very important.

• Pray for timing: “Lord, if it’s not now, help me to wait well. Don’t let loneliness rush me.” Waiting well isn't sitting back and doing nothing. It’s worship, work, and becoming.

• Pray for peace: “Let Your peace rule in my heart.” (Colossians 3:15 MSG). If you don’t have peace, don’t move. Peace is a fruit, not a feeling. It’s God’s yes or no. So pray for peace.

• Pray for the man, too: “God, prepare him, work on him. And prepare me for him.” Marriage is two whole people, not two halves looking to complete each other.

• Pray Scripture back to God: “Show me the path where I can walk; point out the road for me to follow.” (Psalm 25:4 MSG). When you pray the Word, you’re not guessing. You’re partnering with God.

Dear sis, I know the waiting is loud. I know the questions are heavy: “What if I miss it? What if I’m too late? What if I choose wrong?” Please breathe. Your Father is not hiding your husband from you to play games. No.

“No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalm 84:11). The Message translation puts it like this: “God is sheer grace and glory. He doesn’t skimp on anything.”

He doesn’t skimp on love, wisdom, direction, or a good marriage. So the prayer is both: “Lord, help me avoid what is not of You.” And “Lord, help me to see, to hear, and to walk into what is of You. Don’t let me miss it because I was looking the other way.”

You’re not just avoiding nonsense, sis; you’re expecting glory. You’re expecting God to lead you, not just protect you. And He will. He’s guiding, He’s watching, and you’re not alone in this season.

“I’ll show you the way and tell you what to do: I’ll guide you and watch over you.” — Psalm 32:8 MSG

Let me leave this with you today: ask God, what are You trying to draw my attention to right now that I’ve been missing? Write it down. Sit with Him. He answers.

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by Gift Ekiuwa

Convener & Chief Visionary Officer of The Global Women Intercessory Ministries